Closing Door
I know you need to be needed. I know you want to be earned and not owned. I think I know one of the things you are confused about and why it’s causing you to push me away. I wish I could have you but there are so many reasons why I can’t. I could never say it to your face but I really think I’d wait for you until the end of time, but I feel like my end is rushing towards me and I don’t know how to fight it off. I hope this is all in my head. I hope this isn’t the way it feels right now. I hope things aren’t the way I’ve decided they are, but I will do my best to understand if they are. I really think I could be happy with you forever, but I don’t know that you’d feel the same with me.
May 13, I could’ve saved myself a lot of overthinking and batshit crazy if I had just asked for clarification. I am completely okay with the way things actually are. I understand and I am sooo supportive. Wish I had just asked instead of wasting all that time panicking. She’s so much more wonderful for being willing to put up with all this.
